TAMPA, Fla. — Our soldiers and veterans sacrifice a lot to protect our country. But unfortunately, for some, life after service is marred by isolation and depression; but it doesn't have to be that way.
We sat in on a rehearsal at the David A. Straz, Jr. Center for the Performing Arts for the upcomingVeteran Civilian Arts Ensemble Showcase, funded by the Department of Defense in partnership with the National Endowment for the Arts.
AN ARTIST; A VETERAN WITH A PURPOSE
More than a dozen veterans and civilians are participating in the performance planned for May 27. Fred Johnson is leading the group; as a Vietnam veteran and the current Artist-in-Residence at the Straz, this performance culminates his life's work.
"It's near and dear to my heart. It's how I see myself spending the rest of my life," Johnson said. "The Veteran Civilian Arts Ensemble is made up of both veterans and members of the civilian community. And it was created to serve two purposes. One is to be a bridge of continuation for veterans who have had art, music, dance, theater, spoken word, and photography introduced into their clinical setting. Then we serve as kind of that bridge. So, that that that journey with art can continue to strengthen and help to rehabilitate veterans, their caregivers, and their family members. When veterans come home, often we're unsure of how we're perceived, you know, a lot of the drama and dynamic that's depicted in newsreels and media, it doesn't tell the full story, you know, it doesn't tell the individual story."
Johnson's love and passion is music. But, during his time at war, that part of his life was silent. He said during that time, he created no art or music.
"War is a crazy thing. So you always see crazy things when they're when there's war," Johnson said. "I think the personal experience of combat is something that never fully leaves you. And so, for me as an individual, finding that place of balance is when we've been called to participate in something that causes destruction. There's a moral fiber there that you reckon with. And, so, for me, my thing is, it is to be committed to giving back as much as I can. And a part of my giving back is through my art, but it's how I got my sense of fullness back."
We interviewed three veterans rehearsing for the performance. All are U.S. Army Veterans now using the arts to heal.
THE VETERANS
Kimberlee Nicole Smith joined the military a few weeks before 9/11. She wanted to help soldiers in peacetime, but her career was the beginning of America's war on terror. The impact of her years of service stays with her to this day. The arts are now her safe space to work through her thoughts.
"Fred said, you don't even have to participate. You just can be here. And you don't have to talk. And I was like, oh, good. I don't have to talk about my feelings. And I could paint with a new friend. And I can invite my husband. And we can do stuff together. And I don't have to. So I still don't really talk about a lot of stuff. I don't even know how to paint. But I'm painting and people like it. I remember feeling like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. And so I've used that. So my poem that I contributed, called 'I am the light at the End of the Tunnel,' goes back to being in the military. And I didn't see a way out. And I remember thinking, what is this light at the end of the tunnel people keep talking about? I don't see the light. Right. And now on the other side, because I've gotten out. I'm like, oh, I was the light at the end of the tunnel. I had to find me."
While some soldiers have invisible scars of war, Army veteran Theo Rooding's are visible to everyone. Playing the guitar during rehearsal, his tall frame and mechanical prosthetics attached to his legs are impossible to hide.
"Like lots of soldiers, we were exposed to different hazards. Some of the different toxins I was exposed to had an adverse reaction and took my ability to walk," Gooding said.
He's now had them for two years.
"Life changing?" ABC Action News reporter Michael Paluska asked.
"Yes, gosh, I'd be stuck in the house without them," Rooding told Paluska.
"It's tough in ways that I couldn't have imagined. Because I still feel like me, I still feel like the me that always has; it's the interaction with the world that seems odd. And understanding that that's the issue. It's my idea of normal that needs to adjust."
"What has art and music done for your healing process?" Paluska asked.
"Being a soldier, being a man to some respects, dealing with emotion and feeling was not something that was ever taught, I guess. And you know, here I am at this stage in life, struggling with things I have no skills for. Being able to use art to, to at least sit with those feelings to try to understand, make sense of it, and actually process it as opposed to just packing it away and trying to ignore it. It was huge. And that allowed me to see the world kind of in a different way, to be in different situations, and to have different experiences. I wouldn't have done otherwise. And that has been just amazing. I never thought that would be something I would experience and to be well received with that and participate in such a wonderful outlet like this. No, I never thought that."
The rehearsals are group therapy where veterans can connect with others and know they are not alone.
"Being here is a community that we've built; we're together, we feel each other's pain. That's what I always say we feel each other's pain. And so we were able to actually grow from that because pain is pain," Sila Register, an Army veteran, said. Register spent 22 years serving her country, and when she retired, she was lost with no mission to guide her.
"My depression came when I retired, and I had nothing to do anymore, wasn't in charge of anybody anymore. I didn't have an office to go to. It was miserable for me," Register said. "I spent a year on the couch. I spent literally a year on the couch, trying to find myself again. Because I lost myself when I came out of the military."
"What do you think when you look back, and you know you lost a year on your couch?" Paluska asked.
"I wish they had prepared me better for my exit, which they did not back in 2001. I think now they're doing a better job at it. But back then, they weren't doing a good job," Register said.
Register is now a health coach at the VA.
"Socialization is key. If we don't socialize, if we don't get out there, if we don't build communities for veterans and their families to come to, then the depression will continue, the anxiety, the PTSD, the drinking, the smoking, the drugging, and all those things that are associated with that type of life."
JAMES A HALEY VETERANS' HOSPITAL
At the James A. Haley Veterans' Hospital, the work to save and help veterans is never-ending. We sat down with Natalie Quintana, the lone neurological music therapist. Quintana tells me she always wanted to work with the military community because of 9/11.
"When I got to college, I went into psychology, and a professor pulled me aside and said, 'Hey, you should look into music therapy. It's kind of a blend of music and psychology.' And I thought, that's it; that's what I should do. And I ruthlessly pursued it and switched majors. So that's how I became a music therapist."
Music and the arts are ways for veterans to heal from physical or mental wounds.
"Tell me what your goals are, and I will tell you how music can help you reach those goals. So is it decrease symptoms of PTSD? Is it make your limbs stronger? Is it because I want to increase my memory capacity? It's my job to make music accessible to them and to help them reach those goals through musical means."
"How worried are you about the veterans that we are not able to reach?" Paluska asked.
"I am highly concerned about that. I've been the music therapist here at James Haley by myself for so long. I made it my mission to hire more of us to bring more people on to reach more veterans. Tampa is a huge hub for the veteran population. And one music therapist in one VA Hospital is just not enough."
According to statistics provided to ABC Action News by the VA, they saw 10,069 veterans last fiscal year for mental health.
"Veterans are an incredibly strong group, there is no doubt about it, and veterans might have a reluctance to seek care," Dr. Glenn Smith, the Supervisory Psychologist and Community Program Section Chief, oversees all the mental health programs across the Tampa Bay area.
Dr. Smith has spent his entire career fighting to save veterans and get them the care they need. There are a lot of veterans that need help, and he wants them to know one thing.
"There's a saying in the military, leave no one behind. No one's going to be left behind," Dr. Smith said. "If you've got a telephone, we have a crisis line. If you've got a vehicle, you can walk in; if you've got a smartphone, we'll do an on-video, and we'll do whatever it takes to bring the care to you. You're not alone. And we will not leave you behind."
