LARGO, Fla. — Domestic violence can impact anyone, regardless of age, gender or sexual orientation. One local Bay area police department is trying to end domestic violence among older adults.
“Every night they would drink,” said one older adult who we decided not to identify. She knows how domestic violence looks firsthand because she’s lived through it. She said she was abused by a family member who moved in with her, and it began with verbal abuse. “Basically, I would just walk away and turn my back and try not to hear it,” she continued.
Several times she said she called the police, and the abuse would stop for the night but would continue the next day. “And she couldn’t stop. It was every night,” she continued. She said it wasn’t just verbal abuse. “It got physical one night, too. It got physical. And I just couldn’t deal with it anymore,” she said.
“An older adult would rather seek help from their family or their friends or their doctors,” said Rosa Contreras with the Spring of Tampa Bay.
Spring of Tampa Bay is a non-profit organization that advocates for domestic violence survivors. They said many older adults are embarrassed to report the abuse to law enforcement.
“The older adults may not typically reach out to an organization for help. They’ll reach out to their clergy to their different communities,” said Contreras.
“Unfortunately, we end up with domestic homicides or domestic homicide suicides among our seniors,” said Frieda Widera, a domestic violence intervention specialist at the Largo Police Department.
Her job is to get people out of domestic violence situations before they turn deadly. She does this by connecting survivors with resources and educating them on their rights.
“So, the reality is people have a perception that domestic violence happens among younger folks, but the reality is domestic violence crosses every age group,” said Widera.
She said perpetrators of domestic violence don’t necessarily stop their abuse as they get older.
“So, maybe as a younger person, they might be more physical with their partner; but as they age, they’re not able to be as physical, so they find new ways to do that,” said continued.
Those new ways can come in the form of increased verbal abuse and neglect.
“So, we work together, collaboratively, to try and provide resources and get assistance through follow-ups for seniors out in the community,” said Officer Joel Quattlebaum, the senior services officer for the Largo Police Department.
His position is a part of their Problem-Oriented Policing Unit, which was started in the early 2000s.
“Anything from homeless to mental health to senior intervention,” said Officer Quattlebaum.
After receiving a referral from an organization, a doctor, or a home service provider about the possibility an older adult is being abused, Officer Quattlebaum goes to the home and carefully carries out an investigation.
“So, we’ll do a follow-up and we’ll try and see is this something that we need to look at as a domestic abuse situation or is it something that we need to look at, is it just a part of the everyday life that’s going on. Did they fall, or is it something that we can put safeguards in place to help protect them,” he continued.
As for the survivor, she said she hasn’t seen her relative since putting her out, but she’s enjoying her life without having to endure the abuse. She has a message for other older adults who may be going through domestic violence.
“I would say get help as soon as you can. Try to get help as soon as you can,” she said.
If you’re an older adult or you know an older adult who’s experiencing domestic violence, here are some useful resources
Largo Victim Advocate: 727-587-6770
